Midlife? No crisis!!

Midlife repeat: Menopause cures

Katy and Katie Season 3 Episode 63

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 28:51

Whilst we are on a break, we're replaying some old episodes you may have missed.  This is where we invented our very own menopause cure - we’ve talked about lot about the menopause in our chats!


In this week's Crisis Talks Katy and Katie dive deeper into the messy, maddening, and occasionally hilarious world of menopause. From being dismissed by doctors to battling sleepless nights, anxiety, and brain fog, they share real experiences with HRT, hormone chaos, and the impossible hunt for testosterone on the NHS.

Again we have to point out - we are not medical experts and tea butter is not an advisable menopause cure!!

Get a message straight to the show!

Keep in touch, follow our socials or send an email to hellomidlife@icloud.com.

Support the show

Listen if you want a laugh and a comforting reminder that friendships don’t have to be perfect — they just have to be real.

SPEAKER_01

Hi. Hello. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome back. Welcome to Crisis Talks.

SPEAKER_01

Crisis Talks. More moaning, complaining, bitching, eye rolling.

SPEAKER_00

But after this, we're done. After this, we're going full head tilt into Christmas.

SPEAKER_01

Was that more cheerful, you mean?

SPEAKER_00

We're doing Christmas episode next week, and so you need to be cheerful for Christmas. We can have one little moan. We might have one little Christmas 101 special, but mainly it's about happiness and joy and the love of Christmas. Peace to all men. Peace to all men and all. Not men, peace to all men. Peace to all women. So we are continuing our moaning and we thought we might do a parenting 101 special for crisis talks. We might run out of time.

SPEAKER_01

I think helicopter parenting.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, let's talk about other parents first. So the parents that aren't as good as us. What um other parents haven't got it nailed quite as much as we have. What is helicopter parenting? Helicopter parenting.

SPEAKER_01

Do you not know what helicopter is?

SPEAKER_00

No, I do, but I want you to for the purposes of the podcast explain it.

SPEAKER_01

Purposes of the listeners. Um just people who faff around over their kids way too much. Yeah. Too invested. Run around too yeah. Like they're gonna combust. Wrapping them in cottonwool, I suppose. I don't really know the term heli well, the term helicopter, I'm assuming, is just like going round and round and round.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I suppose it's just hovering, isn't it? Like hovering over them, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um and you kind of you just think, just leave them be. They're alright. Human beings have survived this long.

SPEAKER_00

It's hard though, isn't it? I think I remember my mum saying stuff like what you've just said to me when the kids were little. But when you've not done it before and you're a new parent, it's quite stressful, isn't it? It's quite hard. And you everything you do is for the first time, and everything like I remember the analogy that um Cheryl gave us because she had three kids, didn't she? Has three kids, and her analogy was like with Corin, who's the eldest, if he dropped his dummy on the floor, she would pick it up, she'd wash it, she'd sterilise it, and she'd give it back to him. And then when Zach was a baby and he dropped his dummy, she'd pick it up and she'd perhaps run it under the tap and give it a wash and then give it back to him. And when Leia was born and she dropped her dummy, she would literally pick it off, blow it, and give it back to him. Oh Leia. I think you do as you get more experienced, you probably become main in the main, people become less helicopter, don't they? But there is that minority that definitely And I do think some children are more fragile than other children as well, to be fair. Um but then there's a chicken and egg situation there, isn't there?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. I don't it's a difficult one, isn't it? But I just I think helicopter parenting, I don't know, it's it it's nothing. I mean, I just watch people and think they're gonna be fine, they're gonna be fine, you know. It's I what what I don't like is looking at parents, like it's say if you're out at a restaurant or or even like walking past the park. I mean, I don't go in a park anymore, but and and you look at them and you think, you're really not enjoying this as a parent, and you should be. Yeah, because you're too frightened that they're gonna hurt themselves, they're gonna eat something they shouldn't, they're gonna do this, they're gonna do that. Just try and enjoy it because you all look like you've got steam coming out of your ears, and it's like the worst experience of your life because they're made out of glass.

SPEAKER_00

I know it's so easy to say in hindsight that though, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

Uh well, yeah, I suppose. I'm not sure. Maybe I didn't look after mine properly.

unknown

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

But you did. They're alright, they're adults now, they managed. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Loud parenting, that's another one. Oh, loud parenting. So the parents that literally narrate their lives where they are. Come on, darling, now let's have some crisps. I've got you some carrot sticks in here.

SPEAKER_01

I can't believe you're eating that broccoli as a snack. What? That was another that was one in the other the other day in the supermarket. I'm looking at her going, I don't give a shit what your child is eating. You don't have to shout it in my ear-all. I'm not gonna go, oh my god, you are an amazing woman. Your child is eating raw broccoli, you are way above most of the human race.

SPEAKER_00

I know it's sad really, isn't it though? And then and it's like, oh darling, you're so clever. You know you're seven times table and you're only three years old. Yes, yeah, you got it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh god, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Or the humble brag parents as well. I mean, I love a good humble brag anyway, but that kind of um oh it's so embarrassing. Oh, young, I don't know, kind of trying to think of a name of a child I don't know. Young Bradley. Young Bradley. Young Bradley, oh young Bradley who's won a won an award at school, and we're gonna have to go in and collect it. And gosh, it's I'm gonna have to take some time off work and oh no, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like, oh god, it's so embarrassing. She's only five and she's reading Harry Potter at the schoolgate. So embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00

Well, the competitive I know that you hate competitive parenting. This was a thing for you, wasn't it? Big time.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But that particularly as social media, because we we were probably in the early days, it wasn't too bad, was it? We just had Facebook, I think. But now that you've got Facebook and Instagram and TikTok, the competitive parenting is horrific, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

I can imagine. I mean, I yeah, it it was probably on a very small scale when I hated it, so I don't think I would cope with it very well now.

SPEAKER_00

No, I know, and it's difficult, isn't it? Because you want to celebrate, and you know, if your kids won something or whatever, then it is nice to of course they should be and all that kind of thing, but and then but it's just like the one-upmanship that people try and achieve as well with it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Well, if you've ever been a swimming parent, uh that's what I had to deal with. The swimming well, I'm football to be fair, but the swimming parent was uh awful sitting there with like a clipboard and a what was your previous time? Well, other than that. Yeah, see, I was awful. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to sit there, yeah, yeah. They'd have like uh all the like sheets with their times on, and I'd be sat I always used to feel really inferior at swimming. I never really felt like that football, I just kind of went along, but I I was I was just wasn't very good at it. And I just used to sit there and I'd watch Olivia swimming and fine, but some parents would know like the time that they'd got at their previous gala or whatever, and then the the fraction of a second that they'd just scraped off their time, and it would and then they'd come up and they'd be telling them this is your new time, this is your da da da da da you've got to do this in the next one, and they'd have this like little manual almost like a manual, and I'd be looking at them thinking, Oh my god, oh no, she's eight.

SPEAKER_00

I think any parent who has kids who do that sport, you you go one way or another, and I think you and me are both in the same camp that it's fun and they'll do a little bit of it, but you never take it very seriously, and you know, really you've got you've got kind of you understand the context, don't you? That a one percent of kids are gonna go any further than than they already are, yeah. And yeah, you you but then you've got the other parent who is into it and they do all of that stuff and it takes over their lives, and I don't know, it's you get swept along with it though, like you just do.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, like Jane's like his football with hindsight. When I look back when he was taken on by the academy, I would not do that now. But at the time, you do think, oh, I've got to give him the opportunity. I can't not give him the opportunity, yeah. But it's just this awful competitive environment that you get dragged into.

SPEAKER_00

Like you just do what you think's best at the time, though, don't you? It's hard, isn't it? You can't you can never really look back at parenting or think decisions that you've made and regret them because you you make the right decision at the right time that's right for you, don't you?

SPEAKER_01

And all competitive parenting.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, competitive parenting is is um is definitely going in that room 101, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

Is it worse now, do you think? I don't know, with the social media because I never had any of that. I didn't have social media, I didn't I don't know actually.

SPEAKER_00

I mean possibly, I don't know. I th I because I don't because our kids are older, aren't they?

SPEAKER_01

So I don't necessarily get the same the same level of it, but I do remember the underlying what reading level is your child on when when mine were at school, and that was like going back to the like trying to be humble about it, but you know that like reading, you know, like looking over people's shoulders, what level are they on? And I remember Olivia being like just on the lowest level ever when she left reception, and she was, but I was just like, I didn't really understand, I didn't really. I mean, it's I I sound like I didn't have a clue what was going on now, but it I was like, does it it doesn't really matter though, does it? Like she's four, five, like like I don't she's not gonna get into 18 and not be able to read, like it's fine. But I do remember going, hmm, you know, like that. Oh, oh well, she'll catch up, it's fine. Oh, I don't no problem. I mean, he's only on level eight or nine because of blah blah blah. And and I was like, okay, oh right, oh, oh god, he's on level what? What's he on?

SPEAKER_00

But that's actually mumble back right there, isn't it? Yeah, don't worry, yeah. The only reason we're on level 49 is because he's a genius.

SPEAKER_01

It's because it's actually quite embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, it's just difficult really to manage, very hard to keep him entertained. He's reading Tolstoy at the moment.

SPEAKER_01

Although I do remember James when he was in year one or two, I can't remember what year he was in, and they were asking for examples of words that had uh in it, and he said government, and the teacher was like, Your son said government. Oh my god. I went, What did he? And but she said it in front of other parents who were probably eye rolling, I expect, and I was just like, That's really weird. Maybe James is a genius. Why the hell did you say government?

SPEAKER_00

On the um competitive parent in front, competitive present buy-in is a nightmare. Do you know that this used to drive me insane on birthdays and Christmas? No, no, no, when um people would post pictures on social media of the present haul that they'd got for their kids that I couldn't bear. So like you know, where Christmas presents took up the whole of the couch and then they were on the floor underneath, and it was like, I just finished wrapping the kids' presents. Oh my god, it's a big one this year, and I'm just like, Oh my god. And you see things like that, and you look at the three presents you've bought and you think, oh my god. But I've always felt quite strongly about not overbuying for them for Christmas and birthdays because I just think they don't need it, they don't need it, do they?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, they don't, and they get what they want throughout the year these days, don't they? Well, they do, don't they? And that's what my mum was saying that it's difficult now for like my brother's kids, he's got the three boys, and she said, I just don't know what to buy them because they just get what they want throughout the year. It's not like they're gonna wait till Christmas and then get no, I really want this, which is which is what we used to do, isn't it? We used to like you'd add it to your list through the year, and it but that made it more exciting because you'd be like, Oh, I'm gonna get that, I'm gonna get that. Waiting it's waiting for it. For yeah, months, but it's just not like that anymore. And I do think Christmas probably has become this like consumer. I mean, I'm gonna sound like a lefty, whatever, but I just don't I I I don't like it. And I don't like the way that, like you just said, with all the presents and how that must make people feel.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You haven't got any money. I I it must be awful. Yeah, or then you just go at the pound shop and buy a load of shit and put it in and who wants to do that. I mean, Jesus Christ, but then then and that just ends up in Lampfill. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. I know, I know, I know, I know. Oh god. And then you come into opened at me. Oh Christmas. Put bloody Christmas, get it in room 101.

SPEAKER_00

Right, well, we're not doing that yet. We'll do that next week. No, we're not putting Christmas in room 101 and bands. No. Christmas Christmas in November went in room 101, but Christmas in general can't go in 101. Elements. Yeah, elements of it can. Next week. So um to probably to finish our parenting episode, I think the the last topic that's going in room 101 is teenagers. Teenagers and and YPs.

SPEAKER_01

YPs? We've already put that in room 101. I think that's gone in three times. That's got squashed down with Nigel Farage. We jumped in on his head.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

To put teen yeah, teenagers. I mean, my teenagers.

SPEAKER_01

Why? YP.

SPEAKER_00

That's that's gonna be the um the the social media clip of the of the week, that the the YP clip. Um teenagers, my teenager sitting over there, she's got her headphones on, but she's definitely listening. And you love a deal. I do love it. Before you start. I do love a dealy. But it is it is a scientifically proven fact that teenagers don't develop empathy until they're a bit older. I can't. When is that? When they're about 25. Definitely vouch for the lack of empathy after being ill last week. Oh, did she not look after you? No, I didn't see her. And I didn't see her for about four days. And I went in uh, I think it maybe on the Thursday, and um I was like, You're at Pape, I've not seen you all week. She was like, Well, you've been ill.

SPEAKER_01

I don't want to come near you if you're ill. Can we just rewind to when you were 16? Do you remember your mum being ill ever? And like showering her with like lempsits and mopping her brow and I I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

She was always ill. My mum was always ill. No, she I remember having a really bad back. I think I looked after her.

SPEAKER_01

I don't remember. We need to get Mary on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

No, because then she might listen to it and she might hear all the things that I've said in the other episodes.

SPEAKER_01

And she'll just slag you off as a teenager. I got a teenage comment even yesterday from my mum. Oh, did you?

SPEAKER_00

Oh no, why?

SPEAKER_01

Still still hates you for being a teenager.

SPEAKER_00

Still not forgiving me for being 15. Madness isn't really into it, madness.

SPEAKER_01

Well we'll put teenage teenage behaviour. No, we've we've already mentioned teenage behaviour. I'm sure we did this at the last one. Did we? I think so. Oh well another element of teenage behaviour, lack of empathy. On behalf of the teenagers. Yeah. Oh dear. What else do they do? Oh, they do so many things. I mean they don't even know you're in they don't even know you're in the same house. I remember James, no like he didn't I don't think he even knew I was here for about two days. And he's just like, well, uh I've been here, I've been at working from home. Yeah, I don't even know I'm in the same house.

SPEAKER_00

They're funny, aren't they? They're just in their own little worlds. I mean, I kind of I do remember that and I do I it doesn't really have much of an impact, really, does it? It's just them, just the way that they live. But and every so often it does make me laugh. Just that little oh, love my family here. I've forgotten you existed. Oh there you are with your snotty nose. Get away from me. But just make sure you feed me and clothe me and make sure that you cater for my every need and make sure that soon notice when the fridge is empty. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Don't they? That's then they appear, don't they? Yep. Go, oh just remember James opening the fridge and then shutting it, opening it, shutting it, opening it, shut up. I was like, what the f are you doing with that fridge? There is no food in this house. There is no food. There is no food in this house. And it's just to be like, There's plenty of food in this house. No, I need to order a takeaway. I mean, what's all that about? Well, no, just make yourself a sandwich.

SPEAKER_00

Is that bit why he became a chef? Because you made him make his own food. Yeah, with like dry bread or something to complain about.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. Character building, innit? Oh gosh, yeah, it probably is why he's a chef. Yeah. Gotta go fend for myself.

SPEAKER_00

And how's your teenager teenager? Is she okay in Australia? Oh, she's good.

SPEAKER_01

Apart from having a cotroach on her face, apparently. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. It's 30 degrees over there. She's not happy about Australian Christmas. I wish she's. Do you remember Australian Christmas? She said they're really weird. They have signs up saying let it snow, and you're looking around going, Well, it's never gonna snow here, is it? We'll take that sign down. Yeah. And I do remember it being really weird.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's it's Christmas, but it's not. But we had such a good Christmas in Australia, didn't we?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it was brilliant, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00

It was one of my most favourite memories from ours actually at that Christmas. Christmas Day. Yeah.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

But we just had we went out Christmas Eve, didn't we? And then we had Christmas Day where we literally started drinking when we woke up. Woke up.

SPEAKER_01

And Dan and Dan and Dave, who's just pulled up and waving at him. Um Dan and Dave made a Christmas dinner. They did, and it was really nice. And then but then didn't Dave go to hospital on Christmas Day? No, that was New Year's Eve. Was it New Year's Eve? Yeah. Or New Year's Day. New Year's Day it was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I knew it was the day, but yeah. He went to hospital.

SPEAKER_01

Little trip to hospital. But he went to the hospital because he had a staph infection in his arm. Do you remember he got an infected bite on his arm? And it we all went with him, the entire house.

SPEAKER_02

Did we?

SPEAKER_00

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we all went. Every single one of us went to the hospital. So the me, Dave, Dan, you, Andrea, Nikki, um, Andy, we were all sat in the hospital waiting room drinking wine out of a box in the hospital waiting room. Going, oh, this is terrible. He's really ill.

SPEAKER_00

That's me the wine. God. I mean, we were functioning alcoholics, weren't we, in Australia?

SPEAKER_01

Probably, yeah. Anyway, Olivia's not doing that, she's fairly sensible.

SPEAKER_00

Is she? Is she still with her fella and stuff?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, still with him. Happy. Yeah. Oh, good. Goes off to the Gold Coast for a little trip once a week down the beach. Sends me pictures, Palm Beach, this week. Oh man. Oh, I know. You'll be there soon. I will be there. It's not long actually. 8th of March. I was planning it yesterday. I thought as I was ill, I was like, I need to do something that is productive, but I don't need to move.

SPEAKER_00

I've just remembered something else we've not mentioned yet. What? We've booked our Dubai flights. Oh no, we have, yeah, we've booked Dubai. Hooray! Oh, you see, that's a good thing, and that's that's probably a nice thing to end on as well, isn't it? We've got we're gonna have lots of content off the back of off the back of our 50th trip. But we're not if we come back. Yeah. If we don't get locked up. Oh, well, you actually considered that then. I know. Do you know what? I it is a consideration. It's a realistic prospect. It is a realistic consideration. Certainly for some members of our Dubai party.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Oh no, we're 50. Come on. Yeah, and you can drink over there, can't you? Can you drink?

SPEAKER_00

You can drink, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Probably we should have gone somewhere dry where you can't. Where's the fun in that? Yeah, that's true. Although quite why you're saying that when each for your fiftieth is absolutely

SPEAKER_00

Ridiculous, but but you have met our friends, haven't you? Yeah, I have, yeah, yeah. Some questionable behaviors. I mean, I've still got PTSD from getting nickel on that plane with bloody Vegas. Yeah, touch and go. Mm-hmm. Anyway, we've we're veering away from our topic, aren't we? I think we've got we've got parenting.

SPEAKER_01

How did we go from parenting 101 to that?

SPEAKER_00

I asked you how Olivia was and it just spiraled.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, yeah, it just yeah, that spiraled. Yeah, it did.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Stand up. Anyway, she's not going in room 101 because she's quite well behaved and she's 10,000 miles away.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah. Well, no, no, we wouldn't put any of our kids in. Maybe temporarily. They can go on holiday to room 101 every so often. Yeah, then come back. We've had time to breathe. Yeah. Has James gone to bed yet?

SPEAKER_01

I think so.

unknown

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01

It's quiet. Yeah. There's too much partying going on. He's 21 next week though, so god, I can't believe he's 21.

SPEAKER_00

That is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01

21. I know. How do you have a 21-year-old?

SPEAKER_00

I know. I thought having a 16-year-old was bad enough.

SPEAKER_01

I know, 21. It does make me feel old. I had a 21 party. I was sick outside on the steps. My dad filmed it. Where was your party? Was it British aerospace or aerospace? Yeah. Yeah, it was quite a bad there. Loads of people there.

SPEAKER_00

And then did you pretty much no, you didn't go straight to us from there, did you? It was the first time. No, it was 21 in the August.

SPEAKER_01

No. It was 21 in the August and I went to Australia the following March. Do you know weirdly? This is weird. So we're going on the 8th of March to Australia. Yeah. And when we went, when I went with Nikki and Andrea, it was the 6th of March we landed in Australia.

SPEAKER_00

Really?

SPEAKER_01

And bearing in mind I was so it's James is pretty much identical. Aww. Ain't that nice? Yeah, that's cute.

SPEAKER_00

Hopefully that means he'll come home. They all come home eventually, just maybe not sure. Forever. I feel like we can't end on this depressing note. So no on next week's episode, we're talking about Christmas. So we'll ask again. I feel like we're talking to nobody. Um for people to shouting into a bucket. Shouting into the abyss of nothingness. Yes. Please send us some stories. Send us your Christmas stories. So we want to talk about Christmas films and Christmas presents and Christmas traditions and all the lovely Christmas stuff. And then we might keep it nice. We're not going to moan. We're going to do a nice episode and then we'll do ammonia, ammonia crisis talks. That's the way I think we should do it. I'm going to struggle maybe that.

SPEAKER_01

Not moaning.

SPEAKER_00

And then after next week, we're going to take a little Christmas break. Yeah. Because you're off to um the summer. To the Canary Islands. And I'm off to Reykjavik, albeit for two night. Oh, yeah. When's when do you go there? So we go there on the 20th. Yeah. Um, actually, no, we don't, and burglars, if you're listening, if we do go to Reykjavik, oh yeah, there will be people still in the house. I'm gonna do a home alone thing. Leave the kids behind. Yeah, so we've got a couple of nights which we need to we need to book all our little trips and stuff. We've hired a car, had to get volcanic ash protection on the car. Oh god. Get money out of anything these days. I know, yeah. Um, but ChatGPT said we definitely needed it, so oh well it must be true. Um so yeah, we'll do Christmas episode next week, Christmas break, and then we'll be back on in January 2020. S brightly and ready for the 50th year. Yep. Um oh god, yeah, that will be the beginning, won't it? Yeah, that's where it starts. And I think in the new year we said we maybe have some guests on, didn't we? So we might just change it up a little bit and start having people on. Guests talk about cool things. Let us know if you want to be a guest. People won't even contribute a story, let alone be a guest. This is true.

SPEAKER_01

We can rope someone in. We are the one. James will be a guest, I'll get him to be a guest. Oh, he's not all night. Yeah. When he's a bit more compass mentors, although maybe I'll get him on when he's not compass mentors, it might be quite fun. Um he can come on, he can he can talk about food or something. That's all he talks about a lot of the time. Um I did get a message from Matt Hindley. Did you get a message from Matt Hinley saying how much he enjoyed it? Oh, that's nice. Hi Matt. Said I'm loving the pod. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's cute.

unknown

Cool.

SPEAKER_00

There you go. That's a good way to finish. Let's finish on that then. So awesome feedback. Have a lovely week. You have a lovely week. And I'll see you. Hope you feel better. Yeah, I well, I am better. You are better, you're all right. A little bit flemmy, but you know. Oh, don't even say that word. I hope you feel better too. Sick. Yep. There's another word that you have.

SPEAKER_01

Yay.

SPEAKER_00

Crisis talks. I think special. All right, my love. All right, speak to you soon. See you soon. Love you all.