Midlife: Talking Crap & Chasing Freedom

 This week sees us catching up after two busy weeks apart and doing what we do best - chatting rubbish while accidentally getting deep.

This week we cover:

• Corporate guff and work chaos
• Decluttering and shed clear-outs
• Social media and unexpected calm
• Piercings, tattoos and midlife rebellion
• Heatwaves, thunderstorms and British weather drama
• Camper vans, festivals and why van life feels like freedom
• Parenting teens and chasing a simpler life

Somewhere between the crab boils and melted false teeth we ask:

Do we actually want more from life… or simply less stuff and more freedom?

Expect honesty, tangents and plenty of Midlife No Crisis chaos.

Keep in touch, follow our socials or send an email to hellomidlife@icloud.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Hi. You already hear me? I can hear you. Your pleasure. Oh, you look nice. Thanks. I've been on a little vintage haul. Oh, it's lovely. Thanks.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Suits you. Blue. Lovely. I wanted something bright, you know. I feel like we need bright colours in our lives.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Well, I'm wearing black.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

I know. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Never mind. Oh, you're right. I missed your face. I know. It's been two whole weeks. I know. We shouldn't do that. It's too long. I know it's too long. It's too long. We haven't really spoken much either, have we? I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

I feel like you've been busy. Yeah, it has been a busy few weeks.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

We can catch up on all of that. You've got proper you've got proper sunglasses, Tan, haven't you?

SPEAKER_03 1:11

I know. I know. I was just looking at my face and Zoom, and I thought I look like I've had some sort of stroke or something this morning. My face looks really weird.

unknown 1:20

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

So have I had have I had a stroke overnight? No, you don't look like that. I've had too much sun. I've had too much sun. Have you?

SPEAKER_02 1:29

But you've got to get it where you can. You've you've been factoring up though, you're getting that sun cream on.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Oh yeah. I've got factor 50, but it's still don't I've my face, I don't know, it's gone a bit funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

It doesn't look funny, it just it's just the white bits that panderize.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

Where me well I've got my I'll put my glasses on instead. There you go. That's better. You can't see them now. I thought I'd just be wearing my sunglasses. I wear them permanently though. Like I'm always wearing them because I can't stand the bright. I know it hurts your eyes, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 2:01

And you like screwing your eyes up all the time.

SPEAKER_03 2:03

It's like getting old. It's another old thing.

unknown 2:06

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Let's not start on the depression yet.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Oh no, I'm quite happy. I'm I'm happy. Good. I like it today. I've had a good like week, which actually have I had a good week. Like work's been absolute hell. But me, I've been so chilled with it all this week. And I'm just like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

How do you maintain that chill though?

SPEAKER_03 2:32

I do not know, but it's very rare.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Because I'm like that. I have like the odd week where it's fine, and and stuff that would normally upset me or get me round up is just like water off a duck's back. And then other weeks I'm like wanting to cry because someone's stolen a pen off my desk. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:49

Although don't steal pens off people's desks. We've already discussed this. Don't don't go there.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Don't mess with a desk. Don't mess with the desk.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

Have you had a lot of corporate guff?

SPEAKER_02 2:57

I've had a lot of corporate guff. Should we do a quick um introduction before we get into things? Oh yeah. I was welcome to our podcast. Welcome to our podcast, Midlife No Crisis. Because I was just looking at the stats earlier and um we have got new listeners, so I feel like we should probably just do it properly and professionally at least this one time.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Okay. Okay. Welcome. New listeners, welcome to Midlife No Crisis. Thank you for tuning in.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Do you tune into a podcast?

SPEAKER_03 3:30

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

No, I don't either. Tune in's more like radio, isn't it? Oh, thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. Yeah. Thank you for making the effort to click download or follow or whatever you do on podcasts. We're not very good at promoting ourselves. So um the fact that you've found us is miraculous. Well, you say we're not very good. You are, I'm terrible. Yeah, you are you are awful at promoting our podcast. You're very good at the word of mouth. Very good at the word of mouth promotion.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

Yeah, but that's how life should work. Yeah. I'm moving away, you've got to declutter your digital life. I've not been on social media very much this week, and I wonder whether that's contributing to my calmness. Oh, that could be it. That could be it.

SPEAKER_04 4:15

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

No idea what's going on in the world.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

Oh well, just embrace it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

Probably a load of shit. I don't even know what Trump's up to.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Oh, well, don't let's not talk about that because that'll just bring the whole mood down.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Yeah, I don't I don't I don't know. I don't know what's happening because I've tuned out.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

I'm gonna pretend I don't as well. So for for anyone new to the podcast, basically we talk about shit that bothers us or that we like or things that are kind of relevant to our lives, and then we talk about it a bit more in another bit of our podcast called Crisis Talks, and that's basically it. Yeah. Interspersed with lots of tangents. Yes, we like a tangent and catch-ups on life. Yeah, and things that are relevant, I think, to people like us and people who aren't like us, who just like listening to us.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

I've had some good feedback on the podcast. Go on. I've had quite a few people say that they really like it and it's really real. Somebody said, I love your podcast, it's really real. And I was like, it's certainly that. Thank you. We are often a little close to the bone of realness, I think. Yes. Well, you've got to be real.

unknown 5:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Well, what's going on with me? DC Solutions is out clearing out the shed. We've cleared out the shed. Have you ever done that with Neil? How like as a joint effort?

SPEAKER_02 5:41

How many massive spiders?

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Well, well, I didn't even see any spiders. What is wrong with men and sheds? Honestly.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

The shed belongs to me in our garden.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

Ah, see. Well, this is where your your your dynamic is different to mine. So I go in the shed, and I was like, I basically, what happened? I went in the shed, tripped up. All I was doing was getting my gardening stuff, and I was like, oh my god, this shed is so full of shit. Um anyway, I said, let's just clear it out. I'm not gonna get angry, let's just have a clear out. Anyway, so my my approach to this is let's just throw it all in the bin. Get everything, throw it in the bin, go to Here's DC Solutions now. DC Solutions has just walked in. Yes, oh, he's walked out again. There you go. Um just as I'm complaining about him. Um yeah, so I just and he's going, oh you can't throw that out. It's like a bit of like wood or a bit of metal or a bit of whatever. And I'm like, well, what's it for? What what do you what well you might need that for something one day. I was like, it's been in here for 15 years, you've not used it. Why why why all of a sudden are you gonna go, oh yes, that bit of metal in the shed is ideal for this job? I was like, you'll forget it's there anyway. We had this like two-in-and-froing. I think I kind of won. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

It's funny, isn't it, how people hoard things, and it Neil's not too bad with hoarding um stuff. I think he he grew up in a house where there's quite a lot of stuff, so it's almost like a reaction to it that he doesn't like the hoarding stuff. Um, but yeah, Lottie's a bit of a hoarder, she keeps stuff for and she just has lots of stuff. And I'm like, why do you need this stuff? It's just just there, not doing anything.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Don't like stuff on purpose. I want less stuff, and this is what I was saying. We need less stuff. I don't want any stuff anymore.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Me myself die.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

I'd like to get rid of the stuff as well. Yeah, it just gets it.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

I feel like you you probably like stuff, really though. Like you, I bet you've got stuff in your shed. You're the no?

SPEAKER_02 7:49

I don't think so. I mean, I mean, to be fair, it's my shed, but Neil has dumped some some some of his stuff in there, like, because he's not as as handy as Dave. So if something breaks, he puts it to one side, but we know that he'll never fix it. But it just goes to one side just in case one day he miraculously finds the ability to fix things. Oh well, there you go. Yeah, so there is some of that stuff in my shed, but my shed is mainly like garden tools and pots, lots of pots. You have pots, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Yeah, we've got pots. I've got all my gardening tools, I've got big box, but uh one small box of gardening stuff, the rest of it is just a all or loads. I mean, I can't even, it's off the chart. There's fishing stuff, there's bikes, there's just the massive unit full of like screws and like nails, and I was like, how many? Like literally millions of them. I would say it's probably it's into the thousands.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yeah, you see, we've probably got that stuff in our garage, I reckon. Maybe that's the difference.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

We haven't got a garage, see? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Yeah, there you go. Anyway, that's what DC Solutions is doing. But he's uh I don't know, he's fixing the shed roof now. It's clearly there are issues. Um, and we are going out for a crab boil today.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

What's that? Ever been through a crab boil?

SPEAKER_03 9:15

No, doesn't sound like something I'd do to be honest. It's probably not, no. Uh I'm assuming it's where they boil crabs. Okay. Shellfish. You know, like you no, you never yeah, I can see you by your face. No, so you get like a big plate of like just shellfish and just chuck it in a bit, smash the shit out of the shells, stuff flies everywhere, you have to wear a bib. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Is it at a restaurant or is this yeah, it's in a restaurant.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Okay. Just in the middle of the street. I just thought it might be at somebody's house, you know. You're funny in Bristol like that. You've got no, you've got to be out. You've got to be out somewhere. You can't have that in your house. No. Oh god, no. No. It's messy. That is a messy old thing. Have you got two drinks on the go?

SPEAKER_02 9:58

I have got two drinks on the go, yeah. Well, I wanted my Vimto because you know I've left mine downstairs. But I do have to have two cups of my red bush tea in the morning because it's like part of my fluid intake. So nice.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

Oh god, are you still on that stupid diet?

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yeah. It's not stupid. Is it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Are you alright now?

SPEAKER_02 10:20

No, do you know what? I have the odd day now where I get a little bit hungry. And and we much more relax at the weekends. I'm not being stupid with it. No, good. But it's it's brilliant. Worked. Is it?

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Yeah. As in, you feel better.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

I feel loads better, I've slept better. Um because it's basically it's just like well, they talk about the Mediterranean diet, so it's just basically whole foods. You have two days in the week where you fast, which is 800 calories, which actually is two meals. And when you look at like a it's a protein with loads of veg is a meal, and that's dead easy and it fills you up. And then the rest of the time it is just like whole foods, loads of olive oil, loads of salads. So it's a really nice diet. I would recommend it. Definitely. That's all I've been eating all week. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

And it's like when it's hot, it's great when it's hot because I just eat sad. I don't eat anything else.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Yeah. Loads of eggs. And it just encourages you to be a bit like a bit more um, what's the word? Well, cook more. I said that last time, didn't I? We've cooked more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

unknown 11:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

More different things, and I've I've just accepted that the kids will continue to eat the shit that they eat. Sometimes Freya might try a little bit of what we've made, and we just eat two different meals at night, it's just one of them things, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Oh I suppose we're alright, really. It's generally just the two of us, so it's fine. Easy. Although this morning I've had two pieces of toast with jam on and three coffees. So completely against every, you know, I'll probably like combust or something soon.

unknown 11:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

That's definitely not what you're allowed to eat, is it? Well uh it was nice.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

I know, but it's nice, isn't it? I mean, it's what you fancy. Yeah, I had an ice cream last night.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

It's just just how you what would he say, Michael? What's his name? Michael Mosley. Michael Mosley won't say anything because he's died.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

He'll be like, what you like. I mean, last weekend we were camping, I ate all sorts of shit, but you just do that and then get back on it, don't you?

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Wasn't it nice last weekend? Oh let's talk about that. Yeah. Death. The joy of the sunshine. I was thinking last time we recorded this podcast, I was complaining because I was going to a day wave and it was like 12 degrees and hailstones.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

And then a week later it was like 20 degrees hotter. 20 degrees.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

It's ridiculous. That's the wild weather that we've had in this country in the last four weeks. We've literally had everything, haven't we?

SPEAKER_04 12:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Did you have the man's thunderstorms this week? Yeah. Oh, that was good. Did you get up and watch them? Well, I didn't because I I mean I sleep with earplugs in, so I heard it, and you know, when you kind of like come to, I was like, Fucking hell, is that a bomb outside? Because it was so loud, and we had the windows open, and I must have gone back to sleep. And I woke up the next day and I was a bit like, did that really happen? It was really weird. And then I went on Facebook and there were so many pictures of the lightning, it was incredible.

SPEAKER_03 13:23

Well, the whole sky lit up here. So you know we've got the big view out the back, haven't we? Yeah, yeah. I I just got up and went to watch it, so it was like one in the morning, like some weirdo in my pyjamas, but it the whole sky lit up. Yeah, I can imagine.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

It was like a proper storm, proper fork lightning, and it was brilliant. Yeah, really good. But it just makes it hard to plan though, doesn't it? Like there's no consistency in our weather, it could literally be one thing to another. We must be used to this by now, though. We are we're we're British. I know, but it just irritates me.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Just fucking make your mind up.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

I mean, it has roasted, it cracks me up in this country when it's hot, though. I mean I do like it when it's really well, not this hot, it's so hot, and then everybody just goes, we're just not geared up for it in this country. It's just not right, we're not geared up for it. Nobody's got air con. And I'm like, look, you probably got two or three nights where it is gonna be unbearable and you won't be able to sleep, and then that'll be it, it'd be alright again. Yeah, and it's it isn't it? It's one percent. Um it's it's every year though, isn't it? And then everybody talks about well, we're gonna have to get air con. I'm definitely getting air con for this next year, definitely getting it, and then it's like freezing cold again the week after. That's the problem with the air con. Yeah, but yeah, everyone's been making me laugh. I'm just like, can we all stop moaning about it?

SPEAKER_00 14:48

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

It's it it should people just aren't happy. I mean, we aren't geared up for it. That is the that is the problem, to be fair, as a country. Yeah, when it gets really hot, like nothing nothing works, does it? Because people just don't know what to do with the heat, they don't know how to deal with it. But international listeners, you may not have this problem in your country. No, but they they definitely won't have this problem because they know what to expect from their weather. The problem with our weather is you just never know what you're getting from one day to the next. No, it could be snow tomorrow. Yeah. Could be though. It's gonna be wet and windy, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Yeah, next week, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Beautiful today though. We're getting out. Yeah, we're going out. We have no kids, so hopefully. Oh, where are your kids? Uh so Lottie's going to Blackpool with her friend and uh Freya's going up to Harley's, so they're Harley's here at the moment. Right. Um, so they're going up to Harley's dad's to watch the football later. So me and Neil said we might go take the dog for a walk and go to a garden centre. Yeah, go to a pub.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Well, Neil's going to be.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yeah, well, I'd like to do that, but Neil's out tonight, so he won't want to go to the pub. And um I'll at some point we'll have to pick a child up from somewhere, won't I? We can still go and sit in a pub garden. You can have like a little Lime and soda. Zero. Zero beer? No. Yeah. I don't like zero beers. I feel like I'm not I don't like beers enough to drink it. Zero. If that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

I love beer. Oh, I just love a pub garden when it's sunny. The problem is though, I'm like, right when we must go to a pub garden because it's sunny. Come on, we must, we must. And then it's like, oh, it's sunny again tomorrow. Must go to a I need to sit in a pub garden. Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Well this is why we all turned into this is why we all turned into alcoholics at COVID, isn't it? Because we had that couple of weeks of constant sunshine and everyone just wanted to be outside in the garden all the time, drinking. As you should. Drinking, as you should, as you should. Enjoy yourself. So yeah, I've had a I've had a couple of weeks of corporate not corporate golf as much, but um we went you well, you were away with work as well, weren't you? That's why one of the reasons why we had a week off.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

But we had a week.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Oh really? Was it bad? Just I I I I don't want to do it anymore. I'm not interested. Oh, you need to go and speak to these people. I don't want to.

unknown 17:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

I don't like and that's my attitude. What was yours like a conference? Oh yeah. I just the problem is, and I can't really say too much about it because of where I work, but yeah, it our our organization is trying to be something that it's not. Ah. And that's how I feel all the time now. So it's trying to be like not public sectory, but corporate is yes, just corporate, and it but but overdoing it completely. I mean, uh the other day was I invited to something called a constellation, and I laughed out loud. I was like, what's this now? What is it?

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Constellation.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

Put like like all like pulling things together.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Stars, like, do you see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Stars aligned.

SPEAKER_03 18:07

And I'm like, we don't need to call it that. Like we no, change the name.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

I'm gonna I'm gonna call a constellation meeting next week at where I can see what everyone says. See what happens, see what reaction you get.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

They'll all tell me the fuck off. Yeah, it's good. But yeah, so go on, sorry, I completely over. No, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

So we we had an like construction has a couple of big conference weeks, and last week was their biggest one in the UK, so it's called UK Reef. Can't many you can't even remember what it stands for, real estate something, something. Um, and it is literally the entire construction industry goes to Leeds for the week, and it it is the entire construction industry, you've never seen anything like it. The only way I could explain it is like a festival for construction. Honestly, it's just the weirdest thing. There's like an actual conference that you go into, but because everyone's there, I think they sell was it 16 or 17,000 tickets for the conference itself. What? But then you have around the conference you have fringe events, so it must be double that people that go. And Leeds is full, you pay like 1,500 quid a night for a hotel room. It honestly, it's just unbelievable. I can't even explain it to you. It is the most incredible thing ever. What did you get out of this? Well, I only went for one day because obviously with Frey's GCSEs, I did just didn't want to be away from home, and Lottie had her exams as well. So I just I'd I would normally go for the whole week, so I only did one day, and I did have a little bit of FOMO to not be there. Um but it was it's just interesting going away with work. Jomo. Jomo, trying to miss it out, yeah. It is interesting going away with work, isn't it? Because it's like I don't know, like we because we have to sort of sort out hotel rooms and make it as cheap as possible. So we've got these apartments with two bedrooms in. So like I shared with Vicky from work, and we've shared in fact we've shared rooms before, so we weren't we weren't bothered about it, but it's just really amusing watching the watching the lads sharing an apartment together. Oh right. You know, it really changes your work relationship with someone when you have to share a bathroom with them. Yeah, we don't we we don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

No, no, we have our own room, we're very close. And some people who on ours, this is brilliant, they just didn't we didn't see them. So at the saw them at the event, and then everyone's like, right, we're going over to this thing, like this like food hall thing is pretty cool actually in Newcastle. And um she she just didn't come, didn't see her, and she just ordered in Deliveroo, went to her room, ordered Deliveroo for dinner, and then didn't come to breakfast either. Oh. So she and then went to the event and then went home. It was brilliant. But well, she obviously wasn't didn't want to socialise with us. Yeah. But I was like, well, fair enough.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Yeah, I think that is fair enough. I think I feel like you should tell people that you're gonna do that though, not just here.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

She she kind of did afterwards. She's got three kids, and I think for her it's a bit like having a rest.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

She so it's a bit like I'm gonna put the telly on and have a nice time.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

Which I kind of understand.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Yeah, I yeah, I get and when the kids were younger, going away with work was definitely a break. And that Vicky, who was who I shared with, was she's got a three-year-old and a mum's been poor. She's had a really tough time. And for her, it was a proper like, I can just go away and not have to worry about anything and just like Yeah, I get it. I do get it.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

Oh, it's not for me.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Well, so in in in uh I guess some sort of like um I can't think what the word is, but rebellion. Rebellious spirit against having to go away with work. I then had a little bit of a midlife crisis last weekend, didn't I? I said you didn't. I did.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

I I did.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

No, you did. You did.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

I was gonna you sent me a photograph of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

It was a very spur-of-the-moment decision, and it was like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 22:18

What brought it around about you can't speak today?

SPEAKER_02 22:21

I think because um I've talked about wanting like so I've had my nose pierced. I don't think you'd be able to see on Zoom. There you go. I can see it, it's it's twinkling. Twinkling, and then I've had my date, it's called, which is inside your ear pierced. Um so it was, I don't know, Lottie wanted her seconds doing because I said she could do them at the end of year seven, and then we were talking about that, and we go on a cruise straight away after she breaks up. So I thought I don't really want her to have them done just before the cruise, just in case anything like this swell up or anything. Um so we decided we'd go last weekend, and it just was like I'm gonna get my nose pissed. And then I thought, I can't just get my nose pissed. What else can I piss? It's like a addiction.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Oh, it's like an addiction.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

You've gone crazy. I know, yeah. I think I might have done that. What are you gonna do next? Eyebrow. No, I think I'm gonna get another tattoo though.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

Oh we you're going mad, aren't you? Get a full sleeve. No, not a full sleeve, no.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

I think I might get another one on my foot, to be honest. But yeah, so I just feel like I don't know, maybe it's like the turning 50 thing, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, probably. It's I just feel like these are things that I've always thought I'd quite fancy, and then I've never done. And I don't really know why, yeah. Don't really know why I haven't.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

So I'm I do you know what I decided I'm not getting a tattoo. Well you ever kind of said that anyway, haven't you? Well, yeah. But no, I was in Brighton last weekend, and everybody's got a tattoo, haven't they? No, yeah. And I was like, and uh don't get me wrong, I I actually think they're nice, I quite like I quite like them, but I was like, I feel like I'm gonna be original and not have a tattoo. Yeah, it's like the complete opposite of what it used to be, that isn't it? That thought. I know, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, I don't think I'm gonna bother, I'm gonna stay as yeah, free. I've not even got any piercings. No, well your body rejects piercings, it rejects them, yes. Yes, no, I'm gonna turn your earlobe into a cherry tomato. It's it's a no. But um, yeah, oh Brighton was cool. Was it? Oh yeah, it was really good, yeah, yeah. Really busy. I just love Brighton.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Yeah, I've only been once and it was probably 30 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

Oh, it's so good. Yeah. Lots of like we did we went on a beach sauna beach sauna, beach box sauna, it's called in Brighton. Yeah, on the hottest day of the year. Oh, good. Getting a sauna. But it's so good. Like with so you get in the sauna and obviously sit there and sweat, and then you run in the sea. Oh, yeah, that's nice. And it got it's really it's so refreshing, and then you get back in the sauna, sea sauna, ice cloak cold plunge thing, getting the ice bath. Did you feel ten years younger after? Uh no. But I did feel pretty good, I will say. I did feel I definitely felt rejuvenated from it.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

That cold water therapy thing is meant to be, like fasting, is meant to be one of the healthiest, like body whatever you can do, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 25:35

Yeah, but I can't I'm I don't like get I don't I'm not a cold person, I don't like it. But because it was like boiling hot just anyway, getting in the the the ice bath and just sitting there, I was actually fine.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

So yeah, it was nice. Uh yeah, I did that, a little bike ride, pubs, walk round, lots of pubs. Dave's Dave lost his tooth. Oh no. So didn't he? The tooth that he's just had put in. The tooth. No, but so he hadn't got a tooth. So they've taken the tooth out, it's got a heel because he's got to have this bone graft thing. Oh right. And so he had this he's got this like thing that he clip in. So it's like a TD printed, you know, like uh invisalign type thing with a tooth. Well, he had it in his top pocket and was doing the barbecue, leant over, fell out, went in the barbecue, the tooth. Oh my god. So he's not got a tooth. Oh my god. So now so then he got so do you know what he did? He got a bit of cheese, Jarlsberg cheese, and stuck it in the gap. I was like, oh my god. He's such a dreamboat, isn't he? Isn't he? Isn't he just anyway's getting a new tooth this week? It's fine. But yeah, a bit of a disaster, melted tooth. Oh my god, what an idiot. Oh what's that? Why'd he take it? Well, it it's quite uncomfortable for him. Oh right. It's quite uncomfortable, and then he we couldn't talk because he couldn't speak properly. And so he took it out, unclipped it, and put it in his pocket. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

Da da. What a fool. What a fool. Um, what else can we talk about? Oh mind you, we need to get on to our topic, really, don't we? We're gonna run out of time to talk about it. Rambling. We are rambling on. I'm gonna save um talking about GCSEs and teenage life for another time. We'll save that for next week. Why don't we do end crisis talks? Sounds like a crisis to me. No, because I want to talk more about the topic when we get into crisis too.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

Oh dear. So, what's this about being called out for lying about the amount of wine we drink?

SPEAKER_03 27:47

Yeah, apparently. Um, I said on the podcast that I don't drink wine, and it I've been called out said it's utter bollocks, apparently. Now, I'm gonna say all right, I do drink wine, but not very often, and I don't really it's not my go-to if I'm going out unless I'm eating.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

That's I think to be fair, that is what we said. We said that is that what well we talked about the fact that we don't drink on a night out, like so if you go out for the night, you don't get a bottle of wine and drink wine all night. No, I don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

No, I'll drink it if I'm like, you know, barbecue, I might have a nice rose.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

That's fine. Anyway, apparently I'm full of shit. Who's told you he's giving you this feedback? Oh Dave. He went, you chat some shit on that podcast. You drink loads of wine. I was like, I don't drink wine, I don't know. We had this like to-in and fro-in, and I'm completely in denial about the whole thing. He went, he said, you're portraying a version of yourself. This is what he said, you're portraying a version of yourself that I think you would like to be. What a common wine drinking person.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

I think we both do a bit of that. No, we don't. We've said at the very beginning of this we're very real. I think we are very real, but maybe that bit of it was a bit of a wishful thinking.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

Have we put a little like yeah, we I think we may have put a slant on it. It's what we want to believe in ourselves that we're actually pure and wholesome. We are pure and wholesome, aren't we? We are pure and wholesome. Do you know what? I was just gonna say before we move on to the topic, um, when we were clearing out the shed, found a box full of all my old Australia letters. No. So I've got letters from you to me when you were in Australia and we'd left and we'd split. Oh really? Yeah, I'm gonna read it. I'm gonna read them out. I'm gonna read them out on the pod. Um, stuff with letters from Nick throughout my whole and they are absolutely brilliant. Oh, nice. There's a whole page of one of Nick's letters talking about free deadry and coronation street. She's written a whole about it, about how the country's gone mad because deirdre has been locked in jail from Coronation Street. And I'm reading and I'm thinking, why is she written about this? It was obviously. What was she jailed for? I can't even remember that. I have no idea. We missed it, we were in Australia. Big news, apparently. But anyway, anyway, I'll get them and I'll read them out.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Okay, yeah, we can do that. We we uh we've got a couple of episodes coming up where we've no plans for them, so that's a good idea. Um all right, let's have the last 10 minutes of this main episode talking about what we're talking about, and then we can talk about it in crisis talks, can't we? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were gonna talk about this week about well, traveling, traveling, camper vans, and motor van. Van life, van life, hashtag hashtag van life. That's making memories. And the reason for that is because we both have one. You have a motorhome, and I have, we have, my family have a camper van. Um Bumblebee, who has been mentioned, and you've got Roland the Motorhome.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

Roland the Motorhome. Um who was lent out to people last weekend. I mean they spent it. Yeah, well, there was only one slight breakage, and that was fine. It's a super glue situation, it's absolutely fine. That's good. Um, but they said it was a game changer at the festival, they loved it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Oh, festival, yeah. You see, this is it, isn't it? I'm devoted. We've not got a living vehicle ticket for Kendall Calling yet. I've got it as soon as one comes available. Hopefully I'll be able to get one. But at the moment we're actually camping, I'm dreading it. Oh no, in a tent. In a tent, yeah, in a festival. Oh no. I know. No, I know, I know. You don't need to know me. I know. No. So yeah, we need to sort that out. But they are they have it's funny, isn't it? Because we weren't massive campers. I don't think you guys were really particularly.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Um, so why did you buy Roland?

SPEAKER_03 32:23

It was a COVID thing. It was definitely COVID. By the way, I don't know whether it was. I think that was just when we started talking about it. We've always said, Oh, it'd be really cool to have a van and go off. And we'd started to kind of go what we'd started doing. This was it, we were going on like really long walks and going out to like Somerset and going on like 10-mile walks and like 12-mile walks and then coming home. And we kept saying, Oh, it'd be nice if we could just go and like just chip at you know, chip off somewhere, and you can go home and have a lie down. Do you know what I mean? It's like we need a van, we need a van to do it. Um, and that was that really. And Dave would been talking about it for a little while, and I just said, Right, we're getting one, that was it, got alone, got one.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Didn't we didn't think about it? I was like, this is definitely what we need to do.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:13

And then we just used it so much.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Yeah, you have made use of it, haven't you?

SPEAKER_03 33:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Loads.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

And so you're obviously your kids are older. The when you've how long have you had it for now? Six years. Because the kids really only came with you for the first year, didn't they?

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Yeah. Yeah. And then that was it. And it's not big enough really for four of us anyway. Yeah. Um, like the other bed, you've got to be very good friends to be sleeping in that. Olivia. Um yeah. But um, I mean Olivia came with us, so she like, yeah, both of them, they wouldn't want to do that really. It's difficult, I think, when your kids are your age, yeah, because you've got that you you haven't got that freedom. It's you're still tied, aren't you, in a way, because you're that in-betweeny bit where you're not comfortable to leave them for a night on their own.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

But then they also don't want to come away with you for a night.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

And it's it's awkward, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Yeah. So we left Raya last weekend, which is the teenage fun that we need to talk about, but I will save it for another episode. Um so we went away for two nights. It was just the three of us, which worked so much better space-wise, definitely. Yeah, yeah. We've got um a VW, but we've got a so if you're a camper van, uh whatever, aficiada. Fishinada. Um, so you get a short wheel base, medium wheelbase, long wheelbase vans. We've got a short wheelbase van because when we bought Bumblebee, um, so we've had Bumblebee, I think, three years this year, and it was a Neil needed to change his car, and we've been talking about camper vans for ages, and the two kind of came together and I said, Well, let's get a camper van as your car, and then we've got the best of both worlds. So we had to go for a short wheel base just because you can't the bigger ones, you can't park very easily and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Practicality, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

Yeah, and we've I mean we used we have used Bumblebee a lot actually, and we've used it for festivals and we've used it for camping trips, but it is tough with the kids. I do find that a challenge. It's um definitely this year it's changed a lot. So we we've ended up buying quite a big awning, which you saw last year, didn't you? Um which helps actually because it does give you that extra space, it's like a massive tent, so you could sleep four minutes there, to be fair, if you wanted to. Um, so we have got a lot more space which makes it more usable, but then you've got the problem with what sites allow awnings and all that. They've found that camping is a world of rules, isn't it? There are a lot of rules.

SPEAKER_03 35:44

Oh, yeah, there's a lot of rules. Yeah, well, there is if you go to like proper sites, like for us now, we're part of the Caravan and Motor Home Club, and you can go to what are called certified locations, and that is generally people who've got farms and just a bit of land, and they just rent them out. I mean, some of them are like a fiver, yeah, you've got to be self-sufficient, obviously. Yeah, so you some of them haven't even got a toilet, so you won't be able to do that. So that's the only issue with it. Um, and there are no rules whatsoever.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Yeah, so the place we went to last weekend was a bit more like that. I mean, Lottie hate no, she didn't hate it, but she likes proper toilets, she's got a real insect phobia, and we had a bit of an insect meltdown while we were there. Um, but it was basically portaloos and then wooden huts with showers in with like see-through plexiglass at the top. So yeah, I mean, I loved having a shower and being able to see the blue sky, but Lottie didn't so much. No. But that was like just two fields, two farmer fields, and they opened them up in the summer for camping, and they have a little kiosk which was really cute that the lady was just there all day, every day, with sort of tables around it, so you could go and have a drink. But it was literally pull up where you want. So there were two massive groups of tents, which was really nice to watch, actually. At first, we were a bit like um that's gonna be a nightmare, but it actually it was two families and it was really good. So and all like camped in a circle, and yeah, so it I do like it's lovely.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

Do you not? I mean, when you pull up on a field and you get your you get all your stuff out, and it just feels so like your shoulders drop, don't they?

SPEAKER_02 37:26

There's nothing like it. I mean, we last weekend we've got uh we've got like this um it's a couch that you blow up, but it's a green. We had it, I think. Yeah, we yeah, I've seen it, yeah. Um and we've blown that up, and lots of you just fell asleep on it in the afternoon for about two hours. And so I went and lay down with her and I fell asleep and I never ever nap during the day. And and it just you just feel so relaxed, don't you?

SPEAKER_03 37:53

Just yeah, nothing like it. And is that because you just I don't there's lots of elements though, you're out in like nature, I suppose. Fresh air, there's not a lot to do. Yeah, I think that's it. Like you haven't like that's why I love the van because there's not a lot to do. You can clean, it's it's pristine clean in 20 minutes, yeah. And then you sit down and you're like, right, well, I've got nothing to do now. I'm just gonna put my feet up and read my book. Exactly. And there's not that nagging, like, oh I know this I've got to do that. Yeah, it's not it's gone, it's just not there.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

And that is coming back to what we talked about right at the very beginning, the point of not having stuff, because the more stuff you get rid of it, the more you've got to do with that stuff. I mean, that's why we want to move house to get a smaller house to get rid of all the crap that we've got that we've accumulated over. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 38:42

I want to put one bedder now, I've gone down.

unknown 38:44

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 38:45

Get rid of the kids, they're never coming back now.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

Oh, the smaller, a very small house. Oh, funny, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 38:53

But it is, you just you haven't got that stress. No, you definitely haven't. Well, I think um I'm just looking at the time, and there's lots of carry it on. We'll talk about a little bit more of this in Crisis Talks. Um maybe I'll talk about teenage fun in the crisis talks actually, because it goes quite nicely with the the topic. Um but yeah, it's nice to see it. It's nice to be back. Yeah, it is. I've missed talking shit. Oh, I'm very good at it. I know. Well, I'm very good at it, but I think other people are probably a bit more tired of it than you are.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

Oh no, I love it. Keep it coming. Less serious the better.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

Absolutely, yeah. Let's just talk crap for two hours a day. Right, okay, Dokes. Well, we'll say goodbye and I'll see you on Crisis Talks on Wednesday. Looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

All right, darling. See you.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

Camper vans and teenage shit. Yay! Love you.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

See you soon. Bye bye bye.